In Sunday School recently we discussed Jesus's parable of the prodigal son. (Luke 15:11-32) We were reminded of a modern-day depiction produced by the Church in 1990. This video was a family favorite as we watched it over and over again on our VHS player.
Usually when we think of this parable, we correctly celebrate the without-conditions, compassionate welcome of father to wayward son. However, there's another part in this parable Jesus taught--what of the other, "good" son? How do we all need the Savior?
The Prodigal Son is worth watching...and pondering. Enjoy!
Youtube describes this BYU devotional speech given on January 18, 2022 in these words: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland explains how, throughout life’s adversities, we can keep the faith and become “a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord.”
Elder Holland is one of my favorite speakers, and this devotional talk really touched my heart. It is well worth your time to listen to it.
I am an auditory learner and enjoy listening to past devotionals given at the different BYU campus devotionals. I enjoyed listening to Elder L. Todd Budge's address given at a BYU-Hawaii devotional on Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2019
Here are some summary thoughts taken from thechurchnews.com webpage about Elder Budge's address (click onto this link to read the whole article)
Elder Budge shared with BYU-Hawaii students four things to let go: Let go of sin. Let go of guilt. Let go of grudges. Let go of your own will. Elder Budge encouraged students to not let go of their righteous expectations or desires, such as finding a companion to marry, having children or being free of sickness. “But do let go of your attachment to them as a condition of your happiness,” “Life is much more joyful when we choose to trust God and His plan for us,” Elder Budge also shared four things to hold on to that will increase joy and the power to let go: Hold on to the Holy Ghost. Hold on to your faith. Hold on to the word of God. Hold on to your covenants.
Elder Budge encouraged students to find joy by holding fast to that which is of God and letting go that which is not. Letting go of grudges is one of several ways to increase joy, Elder Budge told the students.
“If there is anyone you have not forgiven, I invite you to let go of your judgement of that person, leave that to God, and allow yourself to love them instead,” Elder Budge said. “I testify that you will be much happier when you do.”
Don't take my word for it about what a great devotional this was. Take 30 minutes and listen to it yourself. It will brighten your day.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave an inspiring talk in the April 2016 General Priesthood meeting titled "In Praise of Those Who Save." I went through his talk and highlighted my favorite parts below.
As we emulate the Savior’s love, He will surely bless and prosper our righteous efforts to save our marriages and strengthen our families.
The great enemy of charity is pride. Pride is one of the biggest reasons marriages and families struggle. Pride is short-tempered, unkind, and envious. Pride exaggerates its own strength and ignores the virtues of others. Pride is selfish and easily provoked. Pride assumes evil intent where there is none and hides its own weaknesses behind clever excuses. Pride is cynical, pessimistic, angry, and impatient. Indeed, if charity is the pure love of Christ, then pride is the defining characteristic of Satan....
...The way you treat your wife or children or parents or siblings may influence generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave your posterity? One of harshness, vengeance, anger, fear, or isolation? Or one of love, humility, forgiveness, compassion, spiritual growth, and unity?...
...Set aside pride.
Sincerely apologizing to your children, your wife, your family, or your friends is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Is being right more important than fostering an environment of nurturing, healing, and love?
Build bridges; don’t destroy them.
Even when you are not at fault—perhaps especially when you are not at fault—let love conquer pride.
If you do this, whatever adversity you are facing will pass, and because of the love of God in your hearts, contention will fade. These principles of saving relationships apply to all of us, regardless of whether we are married, divorced, widowed, or single. We all can be saviors of strong families.
At the end of the movie, Judah Ben Hur describes the change that came over him when he saw the Christ and experienced a mighty change of heart. He repeats the last words of Jesus, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do", and then Ben Hur declares "I felt his voice take the sword out of my hand."
It seems as if we will all be touched by cancer sometime in our lives. Either ourselves, a family member, or a friend will fight this disease. Over the past 30 years my mother has battled breast, colon, and skin cancer. She eventually died of Parkinson's last year.
In 2007 I remember hearing a talk given by Steven Snow as he talked of his own mother's battle with cancer. His statement, "...cancer is a disease of love" intrigued me. His next sentence explains the opportunities that come our way as we face cancer.
"A few years before my mother passed away, she was diagnosed with cancer, a disease she fought with great courage. As a family we learned, strangely enough, that cancer is a disease of love. It provides opportunities to mend fences, say goodbyes, and express love.”
Steven E. Snow
Oct. 2007 LDS General Conference
I am grateful for the many different opportunities that have come my way to mend fences, say goodbyes, and express love.
The quote was taken from this talk by Steven E. Snow.
In the April 2003 General Conference David E. Sorenson gave a very good talk on forgiveness.
Here is a quote from his talk that I liked.
The Savior said, “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.” D&C 64:9 This is not to say that forgiveness is easy. When someone has hurt us or those we care about, that pain can almost be overwhelming. It can feel as if the pain or the injustice is the most important thing in the world and that we have no choice but to seek vengeance. But Christ, the Prince of Peace, teaches us a better way. It can be very difficult to forgive someone the harm they’ve done us, but when we do, we open ourselves up to a better future. No longer does someone else’s wrongdoing control our course. When we forgive others, it frees us to choose how we will live our own lives. Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts.
I've recently run across two quotes from Elder Uctdorf that have touched my life. I would like to share them here.
Quote #1:
The Lord knows you. He knows your heart and is pleased with your sacrifice. He smiles upon you each day. He will uphold you and prepare the way for you. He will send His angels before you. You will feel their presence. And with the help of heaven, your talents will be multiplied.
I promise you that as you lift those around you, the Lord God, the Creator of the universe, will lift you up. If you will only believe and incline your heart to our Beloved Father, He will place within you a peace that surpasses understanding. He will give you joy. May each of you always remember this.
Sincerely apologizing to your children, your wife, your family, or your friends is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Is being right more important than fostering an environment of nurturing, healing, and love?
Build bridges; don’t destroy them.
Even when you are not at fault—perhaps especially when you are not at fault—let love conquer pride.
If you do this, whatever adversity you are facing will pass, and because of the love of God in your hearts, contention will fade. These principles of saving relationships apply to all of us, regardless of whether we are married, divorced, widowed, or single. We all can be saviors of strong families.
In the news this past week, I have read with a heavy heart the account of how an airline pilot flew his plane carrying 150 people into an Alpine mountain side, killing all of them.
James E. Faust address the topic of senseless killings in an April 2007 General Conference talk. One paragraph from his talk caught my eye:
...In 1985, Bishop Steven Christensen, through no fault of his own, was cruelly and senselessly killed by a bomb intended to take his life. He was the son of Mac and Joan Christensen, the husband of Terri, and the father of four children. With his parents’ consent, I share what they learned from this experience. After this terrible deed, the news media followed members of the Christensen family around relentlessly. On one occasion this media intrusion offended one of the family members to the point that Steven’s father, Mac, had to restrain him. Mac then thought, “This thing will destroy my family if we don’t forgive. Venom and hatred will never end if we do not get it out of our system.” Healing and peace came as the family cleansed their hearts from anger and were able to forgive the man who took their son’s life.
Elder Faust begins his talk by telling the story about the man who senselessly killed 5 Amish school children, wounded 5 other, and then took his own life.
Hopefully, by listening to or reading this talk, we can all learn more about "The Healing Power of Forgiveness."
My dear brothers and sisters and friends, I come before you humbly and prayerfully. I wish to speak on the healing power of forgiveness.
In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.
A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.
This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.”1 Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.
One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.” 2 It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord’s teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: “Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” 3
The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:
“To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:
“Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.
“Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives.” 4
How could the whole Amish group manifest such an expression of forgiveness? It was because of their faith in God and trust in His word, which is part of their inner beings. They see themselves as disciples of Christ and want to follow His example.
Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.
Forgiveness is not always instantaneous as it was with the Amish. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to “get even” with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.
Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:
“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves." 5
Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.
Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.
Forgiveness comes more readily when, like the Amish, we have faith in God and trust in His word. Such faith “enables people to withstand the worst of humanity. It also enables people to look beyond themselves. More importantly, it enables them to forgive.” 6
All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured. President Howard W. Hunter said that “God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see.” 7
President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: “Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.” 8
If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. 9 Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.” 10
In our day the Lord has admonished us, “Ye ought to forgive one another,” and then makes it requisite when He says, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” 11
A sister who had been through a painful divorce received some sound advice from her bishop: “Keep a place in your heart for forgiveness, and when it comes, welcome it in.” 12 For the Amish, it was already there because “forgiveness is a ‘heartfelt’ component of [their] religion.” 13 Their example of forgiveness is a sublime expression of Christian love.
Here in Salt Lake City in 1985, Bishop Steven Christensen, through no fault of his own, was cruelly and senselessly killed by a bomb intended to take his life. He was the son of Mac and Joan Christensen, the husband of Terri, and the father of four children. With his parents’ consent, I share what they learned from this experience. After this terrible deed, the news media followed members of the Christensen family around relentlessly. On one occasion this media intrusion offended one of the family members to the point that Steven’s father, Mac, had to restrain him. Mac then thought, “This thing will destroy my family if we don’t forgive. Venom and hatred will never end if we do not get it out of our system.” Healing and peace came as the family cleansed their hearts from anger and were able to forgive the man who took their son’s life.
We recently had two other tragedies here in Utah which demonstrate faith and the healing power of forgiveness. Gary Ceran, whose wife and two children were killed on Christmas Eve when their vehicle was hit by a truck, immediately expressed his forgiveness and concern for the alleged drunk driver. Last February, when a car crashed into Bishop Christopher Williams’s vehicle, he had a decision to make, and it was to “unconditionally forgive” the driver who had caused the accident so that the healing process could take place unhampered. 14
What can we all learn from such experiences as these? We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us “to forgive all men” 15 for our own good because “hatred retards spiritual growth.” 16 Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts, just as He did for the Amish community, the Christensens, the Cerans, and the Williams family.
Of course, society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice. 17 Bishop Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, “Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences.” 18 When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,” 19 even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.
Let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven. In the words of one of my favorite hymns, “Oh, forgive as thou wouldst be e’en forgiven now by me.” 20 With all my heart and soul, I believe in the healing power that can come to us as we follow the counsel of the Savior “to forgive all men.” 21 In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
June 20, 2015
In the news his past week was another example of the healing power of forgiveness.
Click here for the article and video form the Deseret News that describes the family's example of forgiveness after their loved ones were murdered at their church's bible study.
The title of the article is: In our opinion: As we mourn with Charleston, families of murder victims have set example of forgiveness
The summery of the article is: The family members of the nine worshippers murdered at Charleston's Emanuel AME Church have set a national tone of mourning and — more importantly — expressions of sincere forgiveness.
One by one on Friday they approached the bench, their strength sapped by indescribable grief and pain, and offered unconditional forgiveness to the man authorities say murdered their loved ones.
Rev. Depayne Middleton Doctor was one of the nine who died in the mass murder at the Emauel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina. His sister, Bethane Middleton-Brown, shared one of many similar expressions when she said, “We have no room for hate, so we have to forgive.”
This courtroom drama, at a bond hearing for accused killer Dylann Roof, was more powerful than a thousand sermons.
The Apostle Paul, writing to the Romans, counseled believers to “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” Those who feel the pain of this tragedy most acutely have shown the way. They have buried the natural instinct to respond to evil with more evil.
A nation reeling from its worst example of pure racial hatred in years, and wondering what to do about it, has been shown the way by those most closely affected. Americans can move forward best by banishing hate in all its forms, by forgiving one another and by embracing the power of love.
And it can start by sharing the grief that engulfs Charleston. This is not an incident confined by the walls of a church in a faraway city. It is a national tragedy. It must touch every home and inspire discussions at every kitchen table. Just as the worshippers who died freely invited Dylann Roof into their midst, we must invite the survivors, and their grief, into our hearts.
Their spirit of forgiveness has laid bare the contrasting evil of this mass murder. Roof sat with them for an hour. One presumes he heard much during that time about God and love. Reports say he told investigators he almost abandoned his alleged plan because of the kindness the worshippers showed him. And yet still he reportedly carried out the brutal assault, spewing ugly, racially charged words as he did so.
It’s impossible to know what Roof might have thought he would accomplish, or what violent movement he hoped to inspire. But the victims and their loved ones have countered whatever might have been imagined through the power of love.
Instead of letting inward pain consume them, they have turned outward, even showing concern for Roof himself.
"We would like you to take this opportunity to repent. Repent. Confess. Give your life to the one who matters the most: Christ. So that he can change it." That’s what one of the relatives, Anthony Thompson, told Roof.
Yes, the nation needs a national dialog about racism and its lingering stench. Yes, all Americans need to address hatred, selfishness and a culture of violence.
And the survivors at the Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina, have set the perfect tone for that discussion.
After I watched the video, I remembered a talk given by Jeffery Holland on January 13, 2009 at a BYU Devotional about Lot's wife. I loved his message of forgiveness and moving on.
I found this 6 minute summery of Elder Holland's talk On Taylor Holsinger's Youtube page. Taylor explains that Elder Holland counsels us to have faith in the future and let go of the past - both in terms of forgiving mistakes and not attempting to keep living in the past.
Below is a copy of part of Elder Holland's talk given on January 13, 2009. You can also see the whole talk on BYU' Devotional Speeches web page by clicking here.
Remember Lot's Wife
by Jeffery R. Holland
As a scriptural theme for this discussion, I have chosen the second-shortest verse in all of holy scripture. It is Luke 17:32, where the Savior cautions, “Remember Lot’s wife.”
The original story, of course, comes to us out of the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, when the Lord, having had as much as He could stand of the worst that men and women could do, told Lot and his family to flee because those cities were about to be destroyed. “Escape for thy life,” the Lord said, “look not behind thee . . . ; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed” (Genesis 19:17; emphasis added).
With less than immediate obedience and more than a little negotiation, Lot and his family ultimately did leave town, but just in the nick of time. The scriptures tell us what happened at daybreak the morning following their escape:
The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities. [Genesis 19:24–25]
With the Lord’s counsel “look not behind thee” ringing clearly in her ears, Lot’s wife, the record says, “looked back.”
It is possible that Lot’s wife looked back with resentment toward the Lord for what He was asking her to leave behind. It isn’t just that she looked back; she looked back longingly. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future.
I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. We remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. She thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind.
There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.
I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counseled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.
Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat! And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.
Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come.”
I found this video is on our Church's website. It is called, That We Might Be One: The Story of the Dutch Potato Project.
It is a very interesting story of service and forgiveness.
You can also see the video by clicking here.
Click here to see a Church News article on the subject of The Dutch Potato project.
I am proud of my Dutch heritage and the efforts of the Dutch Saints after World War II. I remember my hearing my Great Aunt Teuntje's stories about
living in Holland during and after the war.
This is the Hendrik and Wilhelmina Meijer family when they lived in Holland
My (Kathleen's) great grandmother, *Gerritjo Meijer, is sitting on the front row on the far left side.
The rest of the family are as follows:
From left to right on the back row:
Hendrik, Derik Jan, Wilhelmina (Everts) holding her child, and Hendrik Everts
From left to right on the front row:
Gerritjo, Henrick and Wilhelmina Meijer, Berendina, and Dirkje (Dora)
This is the family of Gerardus (George) and *Gerritjo (Guirtie) Meijer Bernards
This picture was taken when they lived in the United States.
My great grandmother and grandmother are on the back row
From left to right front row: Bessie Knapp Bernards (John's wife), Le Grand, John, and Anita
Back row from left to right George (father), Guirtie (mother), Minnie (Kathleen's grandmother)
One of the blessings that come from teaching seminary is that you, as the teacher, learn so much as you prepare to present each lesson.
This week I have been fascinated with learning about Abraham's life and all that we can learn from his experiences. As I prepared to teach my lesson about Lot, I remembered a talk given by Elder Holland in a devotional speech given at BYU on January 13, 2009 titled, Remember Lot's Wife. (You can get to his talk by clicking here . I personally like to download the free mp3 version and listen to Elder Holland deliver his talk. His voice inflections are so great. You can also download a free pdf written version of the talk.)
Below is a portion of his talk to get you interested in reading/listening to the whole thing:
"To all such of every generation, I call out, 'Remember Lot’s wife.' Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come'.”
This is a few highlights from his talk
You can also see the above video by clicking here.
Below is a portion of Elder Holland's talk that is in the above 6 minute video given on January 13, 2009.
Remember Lot's Wife
by Jeffery R. Holland
As a scriptural theme for this discussion, I have chosen the second-shortest verse in all of holy scripture. It is Luke 17:32, where the Savior cautions, “Remember Lot’s wife.”
The original story, of course, comes to us out of the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, when the Lord, having had as much as He could stand of the worst that men and women could do, told Lot and his family to flee because those cities were about to be destroyed. “Escape for thy life,” the Lord said, “look not behind thee . . . ; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed” (Genesis 19:17; emphasis added).
With less than immediate obedience and more than a little negotiation, Lot and his family ultimately did leave town, but just in the nick of time. The scriptures tell us what happened at daybreak the morning following their escape:
The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities. [Genesis 19:24–25]
With the Lord’s counsel “look not behind thee” ringing clearly in her ears, Lot’s wife, the record says, “looked back.”
It is possible that Lot’s wife looked back with resentment toward the Lord for what He was asking her to leave behind. It isn’t just that she looked back; she looked back longingly. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future.
I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. We remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. She thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind.
There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.
I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counseled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.
Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat! And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.
Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come.”
